the unnamed horrific event

We at the Important news place that let's people know about important news Feel as though this story is not for the faint of heart. If you reading this article and have heart problems of epilepsy strongly caution that you put this paper down and walk away from it. For what we are about to tell you will certainly make you cringe, get goose bumps, cold shivers and you may have the odd tendency to stand up and cover your  eyes turn counter clock wise while singing yanky doodle. If you've made it this far in the paper you are one of the brave ones, please know when you finish my thoughts are with you.

It all started in the small town of "please stop raining Newfoundland" now this town has always been known for it's great people and hospitality's around the globe. But since this drastic event i don't think it will ever be the same. We have heard rumors that dogs are walking people and cat's are running from mice. To what caused this problem well you the lucky reader are about to find out. Like i said small town blah blah blah BAM! It came out of no where from the north the south the east and the west. People were panicking and shoving sponges in there eyes so they did not see the loved ones around them get over taken by it. Yes i said the word the thing is the IT! Now we are not certain where it came from but from what we've heard it's possibly an off spring of chuck Norris and god. But something went wrong when chuck Norris decided to round house kick the diaper of It. 

This caused it to turn well bad. In spite of the people efforts of this small town they were over run and changed to forever as we will know as the people that get walked by dogs. Now i know you are traumatized beyond belief and more then likely sick of singing yanky doodle.. But we ask you to please sit down and have a glass of prune juice and enjoy the rest of your day. From Important news place that let's people know about important news this is Adam Johnson wishing you all a nice reading of the rest of the paper.